In the tradition of McSweeney's, an open letter to a person or entity unlikely to respond:

Dear Sky Sports,

I beg you, stop kicking me in the nuts every Sunday with the NFL games you decide to televise. I don't think it's possible for me to care any less about this week's schedule. I suppose you can justify showing Giants/Cowboys as an important divisional game between two rivals who are doing well in the standings, but all I can do when I watch is root for injuries. Your nightcap of Seahawks/Rams are two teams I can't justify staying up until 2 in the morning to watch.

Next week looks even less promising. Please explain to me your decision to televise the Bengals and Browns next Sunday. Both teams are horrific and this will be the SECOND Bengals game you televise in 5 weeks. Inexplicable. Perhaps Titans/Vikings on the 24th will be interesting to me, for its fantasy implications, but that's too far out to go without seeing some live football.

How about showing a Patriots game? Or the Colts? Or the Steelers? Or the Eagles playing somone other than the Bears? What about the Redskins? I know they suck too and I'm being a homer, but the Gibbs story has to be interesting to some people, right? Certainly more interesting than the friggin Bengals.

And while I'm complaining about your NFL coverage, what sort of demographic are you targeting? What's up with all the commercials for women's razors?

Oh, and get rid of that annoying twit Nick Halling too. I'm sorry, but I can't take anyone discussing football with a British accent seriously.

Sincerely,

MPC